Wednesday, April 2, 2008

That Pregnant Woman Deserves a Seat More Than You.

That lady with a big tummy? Yeah, she's pregnant.

She could probably use a seat. Your seat. In fact, we'd go so far as to insist that unless you are disabled in some way (Chaach Gene overdrive doesn't count), you should give her your seat.
We know. No, we get it. You were there first, it's rightfully yours, yadda yadda, blah blah.

There's one simple response to every excuse: don't be a dick!
...Dick.

This is a tough one because it requires actual, physical awareness of one's surroundings. Apparently, this is quite a lot to ask of some folks.



But while you're zoning out your sea of newspapers, magazines, messenger bags, laptops and/or iPod earbuds, you should really be aware of what is going on around you.

That's just good advice for anyone, anywhere. If some shady character enters your bus or your train (tube?!) car, you should know about it just in case. It's a matter of personal safety.

Well that slightly round woman is definitely a shady character.
She's definitely hiding something.


Could it be the devil-spawn slowly forming in her womb? The morning sickness she's ready to distribute if she stands for five more minutes? Her utter contempt for the man who did this to her? The bubbling, festering rage burning just below the blank face and slight smile?

No comment.

We don't know and hell, we don't wanna know! Neither do you, so just get up and offer your seat if you know what's good for you. Trust us.

DO:
Give up your seat to child-bearers (womb-tastic, infantile, and toddler-iffic alike) the elderly, the handicapped and the utterly, unbearably psychotic.

DO NOT:
Be selfish and ignore someone in need simply because you were there first. Call it Karma. Call it good will toward mankind. Hell call it effing "Suzy" if you want! Whatever you call it. Just move.

3 comments:

Chuck Norris said...

I always offer my seat to pregnant women. But then again, it was probably me who knocked her up.

Ryan McClure said...

I don't give up my seat for three reasons:

1. If I am sitting on the aisle seat it isn't fair for the person sitting by the window if I give my seat with a pregnant woman. Everyone knows the pregnant are slow and this jeopardizes the neighbor's speedy exit at his or her stop. I would hate to be the reason that the train departs without him or her getting off at their desired location.

2. If I am sitting in the window seat. Everyone knows that it is difficult for the pregnant to maneuver. It would be hard for her to exit from the inner workings of a window seat. I would hate to be the reason that the train departs without her getting off at her desired location.

3. If I am sitting in a solo seat. My legs are tired.

Anonymous said...

Man up, you pussy. Nobody is going to keep you from getting off at your precious stop. If you're so scared of a pregnant woman, then make your subtle "getting up" movements 5 seconds in advance instead of denying the bitch a seat altogether. Or just quit making excuses and admit to being a pussy who doesn't want to give his seat to a woman with a person inside of her.