Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Bobby Quick: Where the pussy at?

Dear "Bros" that are at bars I tend to frequent,


First off...I'd like to crap in yer brew. When I was going out to have a cigarette and you asked me so elegantly "hey....where's the pussy at?" that was disrespectful and rude to my female peeps (yeah mother fucker...I said peeps).

Then, to make stupid stupider you said "is it upstairs?" And at that point I actually looked up the stairs.

IT WASN'T UP THERE.

I felt like that dog - you know when you go to throw the ball but you don't actually throw the ball but he runs after it anyway...

But most of all I'm pissed that you caught me off guard cuz I was drunk. When I heard that, I was like "yeah...where the fuck is the pussy at?" And that drunken barbaric response really got me thinking...

In retrospect, there were so many things I could have said to your inquiry pertaining to "the pussy" and "where it was at" such as:
"in my pants, bitch"
"oh shit thats right I left it in the car...be right back"
"usually below the belly button...i'm sure you'll find it"
"super-glued to the back of your balls"
...but I digress.

I guess what i'm trying to say is you're a douchebag and I would appreciate you not talking to me or anyone I've ever known but if you do...don't.


In closing I would to thank you for letting us bask in your amazing tan and super-pom-aided hair. Thank you for your mad crazy awesome designer button up striped shirts that are so tight that guess what...boop!...turkey's done ya dick.

Most of all thank you for making the male gender look so god damn awesome.

Drop it like it's hott,
~Bobby Quick

2 comments:

Zola Jones by Jason Loper said...

'superglued to the back of your balls'.

i just spit coffee on my computer. yes, ladies and gentlemen, an actual spit-take! now that's comedy!

Chucklyn said...

Cripes! That's a quintessential douchebag line if we've ever heard one...and we've heard a lot.

Good call BQ - killer first posting with the perfect image, hahaha!