Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Cute dog...poo.

We're gonna sound like parents here, but this is important: Animals are people too.

Why the random declaration?

Because we don't think many of you fuggers quite realize what you're getting into when you decide to adopt a dog. And if you're the kind of jerkass who can't even pick up the feces your little designer pup produces, then PLEASE, for the love of all things good and whole do not reproduce!

That said, pick up the damned poo your dog makes. That's it. There's no clever or kitchy aspect to this. Just do it!

If your dog poops, pick it up. We don't care if it's on the grass, near a tree, on the curb, near a car or right out on the open on the effing sidewalk!

Walk your dog (and often). And be extra patient with your pets if you happen to leave them alone at home for an extended period of time and they make a doodie in the house. Because remember: that's YOUR fault!

Let your dog crap on the sidewalk and then leave it there. Period.
It's disgusting, selfish, lazy and downright wrong. We hope we catch someone doing this so we can get it on tape and get your sorry ass face on-camera to post for all the world to see.
Because there's no excuse for it!

If you adopt a pet, you're adopting all of the things that go with it: care, love, joy and yes even the pain-in-the-ass redundant daily upkeep chores like picking up its crap!