Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Wash your hands, ya filthy animal!

Actual, serious comment overheard in a Wrigley Field bathroom:

"Why do guys even wash their hands? It's not even worth it."
Word to the not-so-wise: Just because it's attached to you doesn't mean it's clean.

So wash your damned hands, you sick sumnabitch!

We know we've touched on this issue before, but we felt it deserved its own post since some people are obviously deluded about the merits of cleanliness. But make no mistake: refusing to wash your hands after touching your own no-no spots constitutes Urban fucking Terrorism!

After all, that means you just had your paws all over your Johnson, for crissakes! So 'ol boy is just going to head on back to his seat to give his buddies some high-fives, huh? Go team!

That little concave round thing over there with the spout and the hole? Yeah, it's called a sink. And NO, running some water over them doesn't count as "washing." Use some soap, you filthy fuck.

No more high-fives, dude. Hell, not even fist-bumps. Not after we just saw you exit a stall and then skedaddle sans sanitation.

And just how in the hell can you feel justified in leaving the room without washing after having been in a nasty public bathroom stall, anyway?! We hope you're heading to the nacho stand. Be sure to lick all that excess cheese off of your fingers while you're at it.

Effing sickos.


MizFit said...



Megan Boris said...

Megan Boris-

I have to agree... and sadly I think washing your hands has become some sort of lost art form. Lather up, it's only sanitary! I see too many "splash some water on the hands & go" attempts...

Very funny comments here

firerobin said...

It's amazing how many men do not wash their hands in the bathroom.

I'm constantly reminded why you shouldn't eat any nuts at a bar.

ba dum BLOGger said...

tru dat! you don't eat nuts at a bar... you eat 'em in the back alley behind the bar.

The Parent Trip said...

Sadly women are just as bad--and who knows what unholy behaviors are happening behind those closed stall doors? At least with guys you generally know which number you're dealing with. Random aside: Even if you DO wash your hands, that door handle is a festering petri dish of rabid bacteria. USE A PAPER TOWEL for chrissakes.