Friday, June 27, 2008

Spitting On The Sidewalk

Hey fugger! Thanks for the loogie on our shoes! We can't wait to track it into our house!

We're so happy we get to bring a little bit of YOU along with us that we could just die!

Seriously. If you must hock your guts up and let fly with some nasty lung-butter in public, please at least do so in the grass, off of the curb, in the street.



It's not sanitary. It's not nice. In fact, it's downright disgusting and you're an effing sumnabitch and your woman is going to leave you because you're a nasty mutha and you're ugly. And you smell.

DO:
Expel bodily fluids from your person...preferably at home.


DO NOT:
Hock one right onto the middle of the sidewalk, while waiting in a line, next to / in front of newspaper kiosks, ATMs, doorways...

Get a clue, sicko. We hope you end up at a drinking fountain which one of your brethren has already visited.

2 comments:

Adam_Y said...

I concur. Terrible habit, shows a complete lack of control over your salivary glands and is reminiscent of some insect that has to spray enzymes on its food before digestion.

Anonymous said...

In some cases it's more than simply bad manners, it's an insult or a territory-marking move. I was walking down a wide, busy city sidewalk today and there was a young man in front of me, walking slowly about in the middle of the path, with a cigarette in his right hand. I wanted to pass him and get away from his smoke trail. I could see this guy was sort of looking over his shoulder, he could sense the presence of someone trying to pass him or just walking closer than he'd like. (I don't like it when people walk too closely behind me, and I tend to move over so they can pass me. He wasn't doing that, he was holding his ground, walking slowly.)

He then spit on the sidewalk to his left side, in front of me. Yep, he didn't want me to walk past him, and if I did, I was going to have to walk around his spit. I suppose everyone was supposed to stay behind him or make a very wide berth around him. It's pathetic that people have so little going for them, feel so confronted at any and every moment, that someone passing them on a sidewalk becomes a barely seen mini-drama.

On a related note, I think that when young, able-bodied people in a city are walking noticeably slowly down the sidewalk for no apparently good reason, there's a decent chance that they're walking slowly for a reason that's not good.