Friday, March 14, 2008

Wexting = Retarded

What in the hell happened to "survival of the fittest?"

CNN Report:

When it gets to the point that an entire city feels it must pad its lamp posts due to the severe retardation of some of its populace, something must be done!

Shoutouts to Chess Hubbard over at the rockstar UR Chicago Blog for breaking this piece here in Chicago and for the fine folks at Engadget for the same.

According to news reports, portions of London are now testing the effective implementation of padded lamp posts.

...Yes, you read that correctly.

Why? Because apparently a significant sub-sect of Londoners are running into things while attempting to walk and text at the same time.

No, this is not an article from The Onion! What should be a no-brainer is apparently a matter for the British government to tackle.

No such luck here. We'll handle good old American stupidity the Capitalistic way! By blogging about it!

Hell, we say: if some people (not even just some too-busy Brits who can't be asked to gaze ahead of their gait) are ignorant enough to run into things whilst walk-texting (wexting!), then they deserve a chipped tooth or three!

Maybe some of these ^&#()&s will even smack themselves hard enough to knock their Chaach Gene loose for good. The mere possibility makes us demand that the U.S. boycott even any mention of implementing any such nonsensical wastes of taxpayer funds here. After all, helping people not hurt themselves is thoroughly un-American!

Text message.

Or try to actively transport yourself by any means whilst texting!

In this case, the Do Not's also include:
-Riding a bike
-Pushing infants in strollers (also known as walking...with a mini-human)
-Skipping rope

* readers hearby have permission to publicly ridicule and deride any citizen foolish and irresponsible enough to TEXT WHILE DRIVING! Can we somehow remove these fools from the gene pool? There are not enough lamp post pads in the world for that level of idiocy!


Anonymous said...

i love wexting. i am just multi-tasking.

Marek said...

You just don't understand what happens when socialized health care comes around. Once it is the governments responsibility to fix all those chipped teeth, they will do anything to prevent it. The teeth here in Brittan are bad enough already.