Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Hey headphones: the volume's different out here

There's no need to yell. Just because you're wearing headphones doesn't mean the rest of the world's volume is turned way the hell up.

Not sure why you would assume that the rest of the known universe has effing crap-ass Nickelback blasting at the same god-awful volume, but please don't yell at us rather than simply removing your earbud from your empty head cavity.

In fact, don't talk at all.

Listen to your music via headphones. Lord knows we don't want to hear that crap out loud.

Turn the volume up so high that:

1. We can hear every redundant crappy-pap hook as well as the same lame-tastic spoken-word-breakdown-followed-by-rockin-crescendo as every non- hip hop song played at John Barleycorn's house of douchetastics.

2. You feel the need to yell to your fellow man rather than talk with a normal, "inside-voice."

p.s. Nickelback sucks ass. Here's the scientific proof.


Zola Jones by Jason Loper said...

I had a terrible nightmare last night. I was stuck in an elevator with a flatulent fat man and where Nickleback played at high volume non-stop. I woke this morning in a terrible mood.