Arguing: Not just for in-private anymore!

Go 'head girl. Give that boy hell. He done didjou wrong.

Tell. Him. OFF.

Don't mind us. We're just commuting. Ain't NO thang but a chic-ken-wang. Handle yo' biznass, girl!

Oh no he didn't! Say what?? Oh. No. He. Did. NOT!

Hell naww! He's sleepin' on the damned couch ton-- ...well I'll be damned if you didn't just take the words right out my mouf, girl!

DO:
Disagree, stand up for yourself and, when necessary, duke it out with your loved one.

DO NOT:
Argue in public. No, really. Arguments are your business. Not ours.

Important point:
Some "public places" also place us in a situation in which we're a captive audience. That means that when we're on the bus, in an elevator, on the train, etc. we cannot escape your altercation.

That also means you need to temporarily suspend your argument until you can get to a place in which you can have it in private...like, hmm... Like the 5th Circle of Hell perhaps?

Betcha Didn't Know:
You sound like a complete and utter jackass when you're arguing with someone over the phone in a public place. Get this: we only hear one side of the strained, embittered exchange, so it all sounds bad and is therefore attributed to you and you alone.

So please keep that in mind next time you decide to tearfully dispute which "David" won American Idol while in line at Planned Parenthood okay?

Seriously.