tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15613451062450317982024-03-12T23:33:27.017-05:00Urban EtiquetteCity Life. City Gripes. Can't we all just get along?
Etiquette and manners are mostly based upon common sense. Here we outline the basic tenets of what it means to be a considerate citizen of the city, since common sense isn't so common.Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-89045636696183575102011-01-28T01:30:00.005-06:002011-02-17T10:18:19.131-06:00Apartment Living 101: Neighbor Noise<div>Many thanks to <a href="http://www.savagechickens.com/2011/01/neighbor-noise.html">SavageChickens.com</a> for hitting the nail on the head with this one. Although there is room for a write-in on the bottom, we tend to think they pretty much just thought of everything! <a href="http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/">Passive Aggressive Notes</a> would be proud ;^)</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" >(Click to Enlarge)</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><i><br /></i></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcNhiAe3zVAxS9G2MGrq4gbp3DGXj_eUb3tsmHYTOsfdLSCBFE1s-vJEPDgwOB-FJjhnBPBmahWndZrR3I3kiW0c_akn7VfVVV8o-qM12toSkxGo-oWTiGxZP-SNK8w6WcReovrpo-J5RV/s1600/chickennoiseform+double.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 137px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcNhiAe3zVAxS9G2MGrq4gbp3DGXj_eUb3tsmHYTOsfdLSCBFE1s-vJEPDgwOB-FJjhnBPBmahWndZrR3I3kiW0c_akn7VfVVV8o-qM12toSkxGo-oWTiGxZP-SNK8w6WcReovrpo-J5RV/s400/chickennoiseform+double.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574692600776595826" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" >(Click to Enlarge)</span></i></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Photo Source:</div><div><a href="http://www.savagechickens.com/2011/01/neighbor-noise.html">Savage Chickens, Neigbor Noise</a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-71048463694970053212010-09-10T12:35:00.000-05:002010-09-10T12:35:00.178-05:00Clipping Toenails: Get a Room!<div style="text-align: left;">Yet again, we're amazed this is somehow not common knowledge, so let's set it straight...</div><div><br /></div><div>Unless you look like THIS:</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/nailbiting.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 375px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div>You shouldn't be doing THIS in public!</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/thumbnail.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" ><br /></span></div><div><b>DO:</b> </div><div>Trim your fingernails and toenails so you're not a dirty ho.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>DO NOT:</b> </div><div>Perform this action in public. Seriously, sicko.</div><div><br /></div><div>Shoutout to <b>Lori B.</b> for the [indirect] suggestion. Good luck with your <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grotty">grotty</a> office mate!</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Photo sources:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Kittyface McGee from <a href="http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/04/08/i-have-a-confession-to-make-2/">Weddingbee</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sicko McSickerton from <a href="http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/3552/107754/439840">The Straights Times Stomp</a></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-59732946678684291882010-09-03T16:48:00.000-05:002010-09-03T16:48:00.134-05:00Anteater Etiquette**Hint: they can has none.<div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/anteater.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 373px; height: 500px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/anteater.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-41958592194060847672010-09-03T12:40:00.001-05:002010-09-03T12:40:00.762-05:005 Rules for Labor Day Weekend<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left; "><div><div><b>1. Remember the Alamo</b></div></div><div>Er, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pullman_Strike">Pullman Strike</a>. Yeah, that's what we meant. Anyway, know why we even <i>have</i> a holiday called Labor Day? Outsmart your hapless friends with the real-deal goods on our extended weekend:</div><div></div><blockquote><div>The <a href="http://www.dol.gov/opa/aboutdol/laborday.htm">"Official" History of Labor Day</a> from the U.S. Department of Labor and...</div><div>The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labor_Day">Labor Day Wikipedia</a> entry, including some insight such as some of President Grover Cleveland's reasons for creating the holiday and the political implications involved.</div></blockquote></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><div><b>2. Travel Light</b></div><div>It's a three-day weekend, not a cross-continental European tour. For example: if you're traveling, take it easy on the shoes which are bulky and usually not all used anyway. </div><div><br /></div><div><i>Side Note:</i> unless you own a vagina, do <b>not </b>attempt to share #2 with any females traveling along. Just let it be, man. Let it be.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><b>3. Pre-Work</b></div><div>This afternoon, perform (better yet, delegate!) a series of simple tasks that result in productions you can turn in on Tuesday on a staggered basis. This way, it looks as though you've been working on your first day back when you've really only been recovering. </div><div><br /></div><div>Trust us: your boss doesn't want that effing report the day before his long weekend anyway.</div></div><div><br /></div></span></b></div><div><b>4. Out of Office Messages</b></div><div>Set 'em now. You'll forget in your last-day-of-school haste to get the hell out the door. Don't forget the voicemail too, buck-o.</div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div></div></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/shamwow-guy.jpg"></a><div style="text-align: left;"><b>5. Don't be That Guy.</b></div><div>Which guy? This guy. Don't be him.</div><div><br /></div><div><img src="http://www.hollywoodnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Splash-News-Spencer-Pratt-Buys-More-Guns.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 600px; height: 293px;" border="0" alt="" /></div><div>Hell, don't be this guy <i>either</i>: </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/shamwow-guy.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 390px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Instead, be this guy:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/fat_guy_skinny_girls1.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 545px; height: 325px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>And, as always, aspire to be this guy:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/netizenbane/chucknorrisopenshirt.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 168px; height: 213px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><div><b><br /></b></div></div><div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-49175535868010128932009-12-03T21:08:00.002-06:002009-12-03T21:08:00.484-06:00Professionally Rude<div style="text-align: left;">Here's a hint for those of you who maintain "professional" social media outlets:</div><div><br /></div><div>If you're rude to your followers, you'll not only lose them, but also cast an unfavorable shadow</div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaAutSBU5mQ5NT7eLa6xEDAx_mZQzONu4grnq4WLdrfFyp6j3rxbADl2-8W-hM0jbx2NdBWJu5_5WEMZoRS9W6zMN8Zw6mrQFT7KrGObEJkfxUSh0tno3FmbeYV4A1gnZKkTDbsbX0TZaB/s200/jerk+store.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 139px; height: 200px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411125454631597842" /><div> upon your company. One would think this would be a no-brainer, but even some people within the social media sphere don't seem to understand this!</div><div><br /></div><div>In particular, watch the use of phrases like "get over it," which are almost never a nice way to engage potential customers (except in jest) and you might want to reign in the snark in favor of having an actual conversation once in a while.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>Lesson: </div><div>In the Information Age when everything's searchable in 0.00026 seconds, the written word holds some real power. Make sure yours isn't wasted being a jerk.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-6549301272719270122009-05-30T15:08:00.002-05:002009-11-08T23:07:58.408-06:00Babies at the Movies<div>Nothing ruins the moviegoing experience more than an inconsiderate parent. </div><div>...okay, we take that back. There are definitely some things that are equally as annoying and disruptive. But wailing, crying, whining, bitching chitlins are definitely up there.</div><div><br /></div><div>Good 'ol twitter. We can always count on you to back us up. Perhaps twitter user <a href="http://twitter.com/twoname">@twoname</a> sums it up best:</div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMvrlh_dyvBjB0u96AbfDqg9-BJImMmrQCwrhdynBOuMmAZb6sLBNI-f7xDi5KnEO-D1z8PuZ4QLdA5HA_zkmGSHJwyGZ2T8qtnj02pPGkgwn3PzmPdWEAwq9T-itqQkOSHrSZXUsAn1lG/s400/baby+at+movie+twitter+SP.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 64px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341710969290419330" /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Of course, parenthood certainly shouldn't mean you can't do anything or go anywhere. But for the sake of Pete, keep your effing kid in line! This goes for toting toddlers along anywhere including, but not limited to: libraries, sit-down restaurants and banks.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Since some of you parentals can't seem to get the idea of consideration for your fellow patrons through your thick skulls, let us simplify it for ya:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">Keep your damned kids to yourself.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We don't want to hear them, we don't want to play with them, it's not "cute" or "adorable" to have them come up to our tables when we're trying to dine in peace and hey - here's an idea: if they start crying or bitching, take them the hell outside!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This handy-dandy guide is useful in all situations and we suggest that you print it out and put it in your back pocket and tell all of your parental friends. While you're at it, have them all bookmark this site. Hell, if you don't already know this stuff you could probably use the rest of our advice so you don't raise your babies to be inconsiderate assholes. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Or Ashlee Simpson fans. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Nobody likes an Ashlee Simpson fan.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><embed allowscriptaccess="never" src="http://www.heavy.com/video/23421" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="512"></embed><div style="margin-top:5px;margin-left:30px;"><a href="http://www.heavy.com/channel/1118">More funny videos from the "Behind The Music That Sucks" channel at Heavy.com</a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-39295682941469504422009-02-05T13:21:00.004-06:002009-02-05T13:30:29.081-06:00Airplane Manners 101<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUOIr-wpyAQrcZ90hLurIBFVJaTOs8yi_lwsZ_Tj8lXrPylFRCDpUHpyvC6zzQuvh80s9053XMG_ze0kibECxgQygrSaUG1B9kLlDfJh4BDO79LRg-qtxW6bgBUzvVoiSbQxvYgvmbaiot/s1600-h/push+past+on+airplane+skydiver+tweet.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 76px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUOIr-wpyAQrcZ90hLurIBFVJaTOs8yi_lwsZ_Tj8lXrPylFRCDpUHpyvC6zzQuvh80s9053XMG_ze0kibECxgQygrSaUG1B9kLlDfJh4BDO79LRg-qtxW6bgBUzvVoiSbQxvYgvmbaiot/s400/push+past+on+airplane+skydiver+tweet.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299395669926816818" /></a><br /><div>Thanks to <a href="http://shankman.com/">Peter Shankman</a> for the unintentional tip on this one: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Airplane Manners</span></span></span>.</div><div><br /></div><div>We'll obviously need an entirely new tag / section for this (and perhaps a way for readers to text-message their gripes onto this page, come to think of it!).</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">DO:</span></div><div>Cruise at XX,000 feet en route to your destination</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">DO NOT:</span></div><div>Cruise past XX number of people elbowing your way to the door upon landing. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Jerkass.</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Check Shankman's Twitter site for more <a href="http://twitter.com/skydiver">nuggets of truth, justice and the Shankman Way</a>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-86631359439700817462009-01-29T05:53:00.004-06:002009-01-29T12:15:26.288-06:00Gov Rod Blagojevich Drinking Game!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">What to do when you're “innocent until proven guilty” (yeah right) State Governor is arrested, on the road to be impeached and then makes a grand media tour to errr…ummmm – defend himself??Embrace the political scandal dripping out of your cities pores and drink away your pain.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkoMHw1Hcfsks8lAuAXgyn2H8k0f9iVtW0eUdbd2PGroQa9ti5C_YVo2xjF6UP544Ov6ZdU841PxTCIX-ASQPqoNJp9xBdNKMsmTLTW1uY-O5glSjLHw-b0sqa1fw3E26v17NG9dkvtp-d/s400/Fail+dot+gov+PunditKitchen+dot+com.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 260px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5296778186421852994" /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Three cheers and a tip of the hat to the kids at</span></span></span> </span><a href="http://chicagoist.com/2009/01/26/boozing_the_blago_media_blitz.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Chicagoist</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">for this one.</span></span></span> So even though good ol’ Blago has already been around the world and back again by now – we don’t see him slowing down. Grab a cold one and enjoy!!!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"></span></div><blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:13px;"><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">drink for each time he says "The fix is in"</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for every Kipling quote</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink per declaration of innocence</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink per invasion of Larry's personal space (did you see him pawing Whoopi this morning?)</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for every redirection of a question.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for every time he says "I can't wait to tell the public" and then gives excuses as to why he can't.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for a name mention of any Illinois Republicans.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for every time he whines about no witnesses.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink per mention of any member of the Mell family, excluding his wife.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink per self-repetition. "I will fight, I will fight, I will fight" would be 3 drinks.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for each oppressed minority leader he refers himself to</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for each time he stalls by saying Larry King's name</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">1 drink for each reminder he was elected by the people of Illinois</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">2 drinks for the reminder he was elected twice</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">2 drinks for every non-Kipling poetry reference</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">2 drinks for each time he references non-impeachable actions as reason for impeachment, i.e., keeping taxes low, AllKids, free rides for seniors, etc.</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">3 drinks per martyr he compares himself to</span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- background-position: initial initial; color:white;"><span style="font-family:Symbol;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;font-family:Symbol;font-size:10pt;color:black;"><span>·<span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:78%;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman'; "> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="color:black;"><span lang="EN" style=" ;color:black;">Full bottle if he announces his presidential bid for 2016</span></span></p></span></span></div><div></div></blockquote><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;font-size:48px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;"></span></span></span></span></div><span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Urban-Etiquette Bonus Round:</span></span></span></span></span><div><span><span><br /><ul><li>2 Drinks per swear word<br /><br /></li><li>Take 1 shot if Mayor Daley appoints Ron Huberman as interim Governor of Illinois <br /><br /></li><li>Take 1 shot and head to Happy Hour if he resigns at the end!</li></ul><div><br /></div>P.S – Keep your eyes peeled for <a href="http://www.swillspot.com/">SwillSpot.com</a> – the new booze-fueled website brought you by Urban Etiquette’s very own Chucklyn. More info coming soon!<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><p style="margin-left: 22.5pt; text-indent: -0.25in; background-image: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background- color:white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;"></span></span></p></span></span></div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-58243530195071514392009-01-07T23:55:00.001-06:002009-01-08T00:02:00.738-06:00Bachelor Party Etiquette<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNCiCNQiyDFmoUMbZvGlLVptaT8wOHiMMFhL29FpMN1PTjhhb7aqJki_yUIToINlWI_CUdg3ogAZ5CG8tKSzCpW6LH0P7qNFy8nKXsZHVSn895w7ofm8TzJtyG0O0EF8ySHwe3haVqcLlR/s1600-h/depressed+pug+hotdogs.jpg"></a><div>After a recent foray into the realm of The Bachelor Party we are reminded that, although they should be obvious, guys are in need of some explicit guidelines for bachelor party behavior.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Basically, some'a you jamokes just don't get it.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">So we'll spell it out for you in hopes that you don't blow a fellow's cover, spill the proverbial beans or downright ruin someone's marriage!</span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">The Top Five Rules of The Bachelor Party</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1. Silence is Golden</span></div><div>For the clueless numb-skulls: </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">What happens at the bachelor party <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">stays </span>at the bachelor party!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The fact that this needs to be so clearly defined makes us question the very manhood of those of you who call yourselves friends of the groom-to-be. Have you no sense of loyalty? Of common sense? Then keep your freakin' trap shut. Period.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255); font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><img src="http://rdr.zazzle.com/img/imt-prd/pd-235330492143214030/isz-m/tl-Bachelor+party+t-shirt.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" border="0" alt="" /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2. Don't be That Guy</span></div><div>If you wanna mope, sulk or pout - get the hell out! After all, the definition is contained in the term itself: Bachelor <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">Party</span>. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNCiCNQiyDFmoUMbZvGlLVptaT8wOHiMMFhL29FpMN1PTjhhb7aqJki_yUIToINlWI_CUdg3ogAZ5CG8tKSzCpW6LH0P7qNFy8nKXsZHVSn895w7ofm8TzJtyG0O0EF8ySHwe3haVqcLlR/s200/depressed+pug+hotdogs.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288794001065147442" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 134px; " /></span></div><div>Nobody's fond of a party pooper. So if you didn't bring your A game, do The Bachelor and other party-goers a favor and don't even show up.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Exception:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> A close friend in no shape to properly celebrate, is under contract to show up and buy The Bachelor a drink and a shot. Support him first by showing your face and then, perhaps more important, by subsequently taking your sad sack home.</span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3. Fair Game</span></div><div>Think of this not only as The Bachelor's last night of "freedom," but also as his official Roast! Get all your digs in. His ass is fair game all night long...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4. Best Man Runs the Show</span></div><div>In theory, you're hoping your pal will only ever have ONE of these, so it is of the utmost importance to make it a night to remember! It is, therefore, part of the Best Man's job to ensure that this the case.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Exception:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">The Best Man sucks.</span></span> Recommended alternative = wildest friend sets the agenda, other partygoers suggest & support, best man executes.</span></span></blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">5. Bachelor Pays Nothing</span></div><div>Unless he personally dictated how the night is to unfold and what events / locations are to be involved, The Bachelor's expenses are to be covered all night long.</div><div><br /></div><div>This includes at least the following: </div><div><ul><li>Drinks.</li><li>Props needed to carry out Bachelor Party challenges.<br /></li><li>Lap dances.<br /></li><li>Midgets.<br /></li><li>Blow torches.<br /></li></ul></div><div>Follow these simple rules and a killer time will be had by all!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Photo credits:</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Bachelor Party T-Shirt - <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/bachelor_party_t_shirt-235903326000959672">Zazzle.com</a></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;"><a href="http://www.zazzle.com/bachelor_party_t_shirt-235903326000959672"></a></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Depressed Pug - <a href="http://www.ihasahotdog.com/">ihasahotdog.com</a></span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span><br /></div><div><br /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-63662453490451699542008-12-29T16:10:00.001-06:002008-12-29T23:42:17.489-06:00Holiday Party Etiquette<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsAoYQ3Q4uFRmLjM4b3r6FcTZ0n-QfEDrYyGjj_rtFJP_E9fBmNS7PIbakyCqG9fo4Zs3rt8D66VJ8KE-_6-hFc5hLeMQ3sPqhFadvWuZkYtmVOrGPPEImz4OpbRoO7W1J1LXIpXDzWAkS/s1600-h/1196.jpg"></a><br /><span><span>Although Christmas is now a few days behind us – those few strands of tinsel, melting santa candy, and lovehandles are still here serving as a reminder that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">the holidays are not officially over</span>…YET. </span></span><div><span><span></span></span><br /><div><span><span>We still get to look forward to NYE (or as Chucklyn says – Amateur Night) and possibly that end of the year Holiday Party with your co-workers. Since Chucklyn and the folks here at Urban Etiquette have gone to our fair share of company shindigs, we're offering some pointers on how to handle the hellish celebration:<br /><br /></span></span></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9dD7zu-FiTwItNKQKAAPwFi8qkR-5xdEP8lkn-3-A3vRwxqVnDK2eRAO_J3qlbTPaPSEyB6M_YPk3d0OX8Gl4CzK0rwEy6-x20XlAVdMQ4_brAZ6eN-ewLvjKbu-JbFESf9YW2Mwl1qQh/s320/1195138195_0155.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 199px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285335412921014082" /></div><div><span><span><br /><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Wear something appropriate!<br /></span>Just because your boss decided at 3:00 pm to take the team out to the local Irish Pub instead of having the normal in-office cheesetastic celebration does not mean its time to run home first and change into the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">sequined mini and tube top combo</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>from '99.<br /><br />Talk to your peers and see what's up. It all depends on the venue but remember you are still representing your office – so unless you work for <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Fredericks of Hollywood</span></span> – keep it somewhat classy there champ!<br /><br /></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Booze is your </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">F</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">renem</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">y</span></span><br /></span>Let's make that clear – both FRIEND and ENEMY! Chucklyn is no stranger to throwing back a few because sometimes it helps to loosen things up in front of those SVPs but be certain to <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">swill with care</span></span>.<br /><br />Don't be so relaxed that multiple items of clothing start coming off or so that you start talking about office crushes or past office conquests or - God forbid - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">acting upon them</span>. Chucklyn was once luckily enough to get a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">cougartastic makeoutsesh</span></span> between an admin and a junior exec on camera and has been holding on to it for three years…y'know, just in case. </li></ul><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsAoYQ3Q4uFRmLjM4b3r6FcTZ0n-QfEDrYyGjj_rtFJP_E9fBmNS7PIbakyCqG9fo4Zs3rt8D66VJ8KE-_6-hFc5hLeMQ3sPqhFadvWuZkYtmVOrGPPEImz4OpbRoO7W1J1LXIpXDzWAkS/s320/1196.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285344459984699074" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px; " /></span></div><br /><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Set your Limits and plan your travel route home BEFORE the party</span><br />We learned this the hard way. Once, after a few-too-many tequila shots at the Holiday Mixer, one thing led to another and before we knew it we were at a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">strip club by the airport</span></span> drinking a Whiskey Sour with the sales team watching the regional manager pulling out singles from his <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">company logo-branded money clip</span></span>.<br /><br />Getting crazy and heading out to a post-party event to keep the night going with the boss may seem like a good idea when fueled by a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">stomach full of Jameson</span></span> but when you need to discuss that TPS report with him the next day at 8:30 and you still have <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">stripper glitter</span></span> under you fingernails, you may think twice.<br /><br /></li></ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Rock out</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> kids but </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">play it cool</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">!</span></span><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:13px;"><div style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"></span></span></span></div></span></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-67686974185140571822008-12-16T23:08:00.002-06:002008-12-17T01:24:04.250-06:00Schadenfreude: How to Order a Sandwich at Jimmy Johns<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 1</span>: Decide what you want, and narrow your special requests (i.e. no mayo) down to two. Anything more than two will confuse the workers and you will get a completely incorrect sandwich. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 2</span>: Tell the cashier what you want (do not relax yet). <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE2Rj_xQj43OZFMK-V7baT45tul_La_5b3fF5WudTddAB-ZMV75uTMHaq_gozm15-0J3MyRbLHDgVtSJ0PBYqpil2dRMXyV2aP6vDv0T-iE-U0Ecx1krLQREITIpy5j19vzNiK0r0jObRY/s200/JimmyJohns.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 111px; height: 111px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280656122180015970" /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'times new roman';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 3</span>: Repeat the last 2/3 of your order to the cashier after they wave their hand around and ask you to "hol' up hol' up" while they slowly press the keys. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 4</span>: Repeat the last 1/3 of your order to the cashier after they repeat your order back to you. Note: their repetition will be wrong and you may have to go back to step 3. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 5</span>: Pay for your sandwich, receive an incorrect amount of change. Determine whether it is wrong enough to be worth getting back in line. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 6</span>: Wait around for your sandwich while people push past you to get to the soda fountain. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 7</span>: Receive sandwich with at least one error. If you are not allergic to the error, proceed to Step 8. If you are, go back to Step 2. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 8</span>: Get your own bag and napkins, this is too confusing for the people who already cannot figure out how to make a sandwich. <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Step 9</span>: Go back to work and spill lettuce on the keyboard writing a rant on craigslist.</span><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">--Schadenfreude</span></span></span></span></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-38889543699631626372008-12-01T12:12:00.000-06:002008-12-01T13:12:24.224-06:00Cat Etiquette from 1905 Lolcat Photo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbj8qmZHuoOEasPn9q34nJBJu9fiQgF8rJqGwvm2v31E4xig3abRQzY6bDwEOSuyDKe5-9fvCFS6bw1VsDnj0sGmeej8ZDqRqDvHtXWkQ3S-xzIYyN0WBOtszv4qC1_s4pVouSvLRQRrV/s1600-h/yes+we+can+has2.jpg"></a><br /><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; ">Kitty-cat etiquette Rule #1:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">First and foremost, kitty no can has cheezburger...</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">EVER!</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>From THE authority in all things cat-caption-related at <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/12/01/funny-pictures-oldest-ever-lolcat-found/">icanhascheezburger.com</a>:</div></div><div><br /></div><a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/12/01/funny-pictures-oldest-ever-lolcat-found/"><img src="http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/11/delayingmydinner.jpg" alt="funny pictures of cats with captions" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:10px;"><p style="font-size: 14px; margin-top: 6px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">This captioned cat picture postcard was found by Tracy Angulo in a Seattle antique store. Tracy tells us that the photograph is from 1905, which would make this officially the oldest cat picture with a caption, AKA lolcat, that we’ve seen.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; margin-top: 6px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">The differences are clear. Proper grammar and a more formal tone was in vogue back then. But the similarities to modern-day kitten struggles and lolcats are amazing. ALL CAPS is still cool, but most importantly, <strong>she also no can has cheezburger</strong>. More than a hundred years later, all that’s changed is the spelling.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; margin-top: 6px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; ">Evekitteh, we hope you got a good dinner.</p></span><div><br /></div><div>more <a href="http://icanhascheezburger.com/">animals from icanhascheezburger.com</a><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);">Chucklyn says: </span></span></div><div>Don't give up hope, kittehs! Perhaps the "change" the new presidential administration can has in mind involves <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">cheezburger stimulus packages</span>...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWbj8qmZHuoOEasPn9q34nJBJu9fiQgF8rJqGwvm2v31E4xig3abRQzY6bDwEOSuyDKe5-9fvCFS6bw1VsDnj0sGmeej8ZDqRqDvHtXWkQ3S-xzIYyN0WBOtszv4qC1_s4pVouSvLRQRrV/s320/yes+we+can+has2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5274901034266000354" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 201px; height: 320px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-87940773474632601062008-11-20T06:38:00.003-06:002008-12-01T13:25:21.792-06:00Graph Making Etiquette Example: Consequences of Gay Marriage<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/gaymarriage.gif"></a>Charts and graphs should be kept simple. Case-in-point...<br /><div><br /><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdoJVXAiyIOQYRat59MDbTRlWe9qa8e-TIXvihbni5OMKx8t7lkiKpmdKRLuqZcIhzk8t1tBo1VFidtliZ5hB9OglezjHqKMADEfOL4ZP0EhfKQaYZIT9BTYDGC_0jGYZRDQJtW0vGE4Zr/s320/consequences+of+gay+marriage.gif" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 242px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5274904780742063442" /><div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">...doesn't get any simpler than this!</span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);">Original link courtesy of Reddit.com - thanks little alien fellow <a href="http://www.reddit.com/submit" onclick="window.location = 'http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=' + encodeURIComponent(window.location); return false"> <img src="http://www.reddit.com/static/spreddit1.gif" alt="submit to reddit" border="0" /></a> !!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-90753146659033632342008-10-22T12:49:00.004-05:002008-10-22T13:37:34.189-05:00Websites with Auto-Run Video are FAIL!<div>There's something to be said about rich content. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Vids of <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74">Will Ferrell getting yelled at by his pint-sized landlord</a>? Yes please! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74"><img src="http://nymag.com/images/2/daily/culture/07/04/17_landlord_lg.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px;" border="0" alt="" /></div><div></a><br /></div><div>YouTube creations splicing together the <a href="http://bit.ly/quagmirebestof">best of Family Guy's Quagmire</a>? Awesometastic.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://bit.ly/quagmirebestof"><img src="http://deansguide.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/quagmire.jpg" border="0" alt="" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; " /></div></a><div><br /></div><div>But we could really give a flying flick about your in-house pundit spewing their perspective unbidden. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">That's what the "Play" button is for.</span> So's we can <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">choose </span>to play. Y'know...if we want to. Just don't make that decision for us. That's just plain rude.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Editor's Note: </span>We're lookin' at you, <a href="http://games.espn.go.com/frontpage/football">ESPN Fantasy Football</a> - stop busting us out at work! We're down for some Matthew Berry / <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star</span>fania Bell commentary as much as the next guy, but not when the boss is within earshot, dammit!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-26336391814748513052008-10-02T12:30:00.002-05:002008-10-02T12:43:29.003-05:00Politically Incorrect: the "September Madness" Current Events Bracket!This was far too funny to pass up. Well, funny with a side of sad really. But funny nonetheless!<div><br /></div><div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(too large to post in its entirety and still be readable, so bear with the split-bracket action...)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp7vXzPMmdKq_taomKuJz2_pfmX_TbUtXI8of7Rfy6bQ-lWCpJk8IR-k0d_M8XHUljflC7PQ_zkx1Gd4fM_q3-2x8FFS2zES9skfcyG-3XbJHc7ExEg55_KcMX7joT71i9IsAQw8OO-qxL/s400/September+Madness+Brackets1-1.JPG" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252613012473380738" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYd2_haDgyGbBqbvpsI_HzO9XedJp4nu-EmMM6AUKAm1Ml5WDaJbafxgz6pH1hkx4MZ2wQ0HUr0baGdGL-slQOp7xefa4f3pAWSjD23BlxFRtlFa3IjgfBeqwtndnq-RNwjrLtP0YKTXB1/s400/September+Madness+Brackets1-2.JPG" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5252613220678600146" /></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-85098509235698028232008-08-28T04:49:00.003-05:002008-08-28T04:53:47.250-05:00Voicemail Faux Pas: Identify Yourself!<div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"><em><strong><span style="font-size:130%;color:#3333ff;">"Hey it's me...call me back!"</span></strong></em></div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="left"><strong>FYI for all the me's out there</strong>: there are quite a few of you so do us a favor and identify your freakin' self!</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">Unless:</div><div align="left"><br /></div><blockquote><p align="left">1. You're a significant other<br />2. You're a family member / best friend we grew up with<br />3. You have a voice so unique you're immediately identifiable...<br /></p></blockquote><div align="left">...don't assume we know you by voice alone! Sorry. <strong>Maybe we're just <em>not that into you</em>.</strong> Or maybe we just don't know your hangover gutterals that well. Perhaps we simply don't speak <strong>fluent Klingon</strong>.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">Whatever the case, you probably don't realize you're doing it so - fair warning - <strong>leave more than a clue about who you are</strong> and you'll stand a much better chance of receiving communication in kind.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">If you should choose not to heed said warning and insist upon leaving quizzical messages replete with "hit me back"'s and "call me"'s, <strong>you hereby forfeit</strong> any and all claim to anger / frustration / attitude toward unrequited correspondence.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><strong>DO:</strong></div><div align="left">Call your favorite pal, colleague, lover etc and whisper sweet nothings into their messaging system.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left"><strong>DO NOT:</strong></div><div align="left">Whisper a sweet nothing about who the hell you are!</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><br /></div><div align="left">*Special thanks to the always-hilarious <a href="http://blog.jennamccarthy.com/">Jenna McCarthy</a> on this one - speak the Truth, sista! When does that book drop again?? ;^)</div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239502751351232434" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWbLUk_yVUIEPepMUkgHU5FYLCFLcI5W7EEFxxAC4hCnYrvu1ISY7vOdEiS0nQP2IrAxumOmB1TfD4SM6XUqCquQAeUiaoc0l9_XUfpvWhGvd2BtPaSeDj5H-GKxQ_ioqIWqpgujFYqjyf/s320/scooby+doo+team.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Zoiks! Like, which asshole didn't leave his name this time, Scoob?<br /></span></em></p><p align="center"><em><span style="font-size:85%;"> </p></span></em>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-15926507637270748292008-08-26T01:05:00.001-05:002008-08-26T01:22:57.319-05:00Chivalry: Little Old Lady at the Bus Stop<div align="left">Chivalry Lives, folks. Classic example witnessed just today in downtown Chicago:</div><div align="center"><br />There was an old lady who walked in big shoes.<br />With many a bunion, knew not what to do.<br />Approaching the bus stop walker in-hand,<br />Barred from passage by a crowd and a man. </div><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5238706850617525938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6owmgjACWPj9AjY-ulIK9XxA3eTC9bkAidM_Gm1BXCC-uOBrcYAGMlP_Y_xtu7QboMoa2zMtdX2vqS4Yu_TqR54_P8SS8kXeSi-3eUa7LLb3tXe7RiLe7F7R4gdSg2XOthOhQVQ1J2zFa/s320/Old+lady+with+grocery+cart.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="center">While others brushed past, little thought to the hag,<br />Our hero did pause and offered-hold of her bag.<br />Groceries packed too large full of cans and cat food<br />Yet finding her eeking along in bright mood.<br /><br />In a world of "me-first," "my turn" and "it's mine"<br />Young squire did'st transport her back to old times<br />With a wink and a smile and polite courtesy<br />A gentleman, sure, made the day of this little lady.<br /><br /></p>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-15792140002951244432008-08-16T14:57:00.000-05:002008-08-16T14:58:07.540-05:00New Section: Chivalry Lives<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FDYsEVPu3jcIfBAcWJoeWJB5iI58vv7izPf7-sdBX6w3-aqkRft15zfeHP9EJW0dAuJ_fdryF0SulFYL1yUaDGVEjEXh6YQOzMlGIKQxYzDvxg-HsxHI6TOf4VbdtJtjbcH3hZw8f4zr/s1600-h/chicks_dig_chivalry.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231549610344283506" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FDYsEVPu3jcIfBAcWJoeWJB5iI58vv7izPf7-sdBX6w3-aqkRft15zfeHP9EJW0dAuJ_fdryF0SulFYL1yUaDGVEjEXh6YQOzMlGIKQxYzDvxg-HsxHI6TOf4VbdtJtjbcH3hZw8f4zr/s320/chicks_dig_chivalry.jpg" border="0" /></a> Urban Etiquette is proud to present a new section dedicated to those citizen knights who go out of their way to make everyday life that much <em>easier </em>and more enjoyable for all:<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:180%;color:#3333ff;"><strong><em>Chivalry Lives</em></strong></span></div><br /><div>These people understand the weight of a simple gesture and relate to the fact that they are not the only ones who matter. Here, in this space, you are no less than gods.</div><div></div><br /><div>To the <strong>Metropolitan-Mannered</strong>, the <strong>City Citizens</strong>, the <strong>Courteous Cosmopolite</strong>: </div><div><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;">We Salute You!</span></em></strong></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-73353590842060408542008-08-11T11:39:00.000-05:002008-08-11T11:40:41.964-05:00Twitter Etiquette 101: The Re-Tweet<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdKKjrAnbXbEzkhd0PIGvT2XUW0MDcQsls3VHnCFWV64Cj_fsnBXyQ5YrqD1hwIYa8xjTFmg-JiTC7tiZOF9qK-7ILCQWZO7jY2fi04vJR9JgHOtUxtbaAdjfSKHTHZIixUAgSBXU2iEYS/s1600-h/twitter+logo+wht+bck.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233291075450358546" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdKKjrAnbXbEzkhd0PIGvT2XUW0MDcQsls3VHnCFWV64Cj_fsnBXyQ5YrqD1hwIYa8xjTFmg-JiTC7tiZOF9qK-7ILCQWZO7jY2fi04vJR9JgHOtUxtbaAdjfSKHTHZIixUAgSBXU2iEYS/s200/twitter+logo+wht+bck.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div>I'd say half the people I know are hip to the Twitter. Although the other half of you still haven't caught the Twitter-bug, there are some things you should know about how it works.</div><div></div><br /><div>That's why I started a new blog over at:</div><div align="center"><a href="http://twitterbeginners.blogspot.com/">http://twitterbeginners.blogspot.com/</a></div><div></div><br /><div>If you're new to Twitter or just want to know more about how to optimize / expand / use it <em>(or how NOT to use it!)</em>, feel free to check it out!</div><br /><div></div>Example:<br /><br /><a href="http://twitterbeginners.blogspot.com/2008/08/twitter-etiquette-101-re-tweet.html"><strong>Twitter Etiquette 101: The Re-Tweet</strong><br /></a><div> </div><div>Go ahead and post a twitter entry that you found on someone else's page...but give credit where credit is due! Click <a href="http://twitterbeginners.blogspot.com/2008/08/twitter-etiquette-101-re-tweet.html">here</a> for the low-down so's you don't catch the smack-down.</div><div> </div><div> </div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-42552412386350300462008-08-05T13:01:00.002-05:002008-12-10T16:10:35.006-06:00Unrelated: Brett Favre vs. Green Bay Packers<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231094287487532178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZYMroeuICAl_s7BbCtcXq2B98Ri_xaJ1zVtlIkp1uIWLSaXHtr75KNJ5CxFsZc8J1UrnuB_eivnRmJ6JoLOxNH5VCI-LvfmznVggEoGJiLEdvSCW-HEUbSbTJR1qHJVOF6J4PhnZdOBB/s320/favre+look+down+sad.jpg" border="0" /> <div align="center"><em>Selfish. <strong>Whiner.</strong> Cry-baby. <strong>Waffler.</strong> Trouble-maker.</em></div><br />These are a few of the adjectives being applied to Brett Favre by the blogosphere, message boards and Twitter-topia.<br /><br />In case you don't follow, the Green Bay Packers' hall-of-fame-bound quarterback retired last March, but recently decided he wants to play after all. Whether or not that will be with the Pack, elsewhere, or at all remains to be seen.<br /><br />But <em>although this site is far from a sports blog</em> in any sense, I couldn't help but make a single point that I think is being overlooked by the critics out there - both media & sports fan alike:<br /><br /><div align="left"><em><span style="color:#3333ff;"><blockquote><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">Brett Favre has earned the right to negotiate whatever he deems to be a fair shake out of an organization whose heritage he has not only embraced, but furthered into the halls of football legend.</span></em></blockquote></span></em></div><strong>To those of you who insist that Favre is a whiner:</strong><br /><br />Shut your hole and step aside as a living NFL legend works out a well-earned deal. I'm tired of hearing people berate Favre for politicking for the first time in...how many consecutive starts??<br /><br />Whether you like him or not, Favre has <strong>never</strong> been a whiner. He's never made waves for personal gain. He has demonstrated, time and again, a sheer grit and determination that is largely devoid in professional sports - a fact that neither fans nor detractors can refute.<br /><br />Case-in-point: <a href="http://armsdistance.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/brett-favre-chicago-legend/">this unique perspective</a> from ArmsDistance on Favre's iconic connection to Chicago.<br /><br />And as the unequivocal leader of the Green Bay Packers through <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>16 years</strong></span> and <strong><span style="color:#ff0000;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Most_consecutive_starts_by_a_quarterback_%28NFL%29">253 consecutive starts</a></span></strong>, Favre continues to play with the passion and enthusiasm of the recess playground and the professionalism of a true sportsman.<br /><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231093402338377010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHFbIBwnVBPDahqFUipiAbTvwROoVKzTCM7jpv5q5oukMHpN0OcAV_7dH5AJf0VQaA7Xm-rPdPurmzuOCEACwRREBERfKGi6ZAOW135LL0FuV-bsNi3qNN-mR__D3AoR1ru_O8v56Bdwv/s320/Favre+lift+teammate.jpg" border="0" /> There is no "maneuvering" involved here. He doesn't have a damned thing to prove that he hasn't already given in years of dedication - <em>quite literally</em> - blood, sweat and tears.<br /><br />Get off the guy's back. You critics couldn't hang there even if you tried.Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-86887301266555120942008-07-30T00:35:00.000-05:002008-07-30T00:40:40.848-05:00Unrelated: Bunny MoneyHahahaha...! Swearing cartoon bunnies slay us.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(but this IS actually safe for work - truly)</span><br /><br />Nothing proves that we're true consumer whores more than the fact that a funny commercial turns us into brand ambassadors. Enjoy...<br /><br /><center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dnkPje4Tl7k&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dnkPje4Tl7k&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-43032782350139451362008-07-24T08:10:00.002-05:002008-12-10T16:10:35.106-06:00Quickie: Yelling at your children in publicNothing interrupts our search for the perfect papaya* like a parent verbally berating a child in the produce section. <div><br /><div>Parents: take your guidelines on this one from the guidelines about <a href="http://www.urban-etiquette.net/2008/06/arguing-not-just-for-in-private-anymore.html">arguing in public</a>.<br /></div><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226438275048490114" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIHl2cfadJVWAsXQG4WxDdbgZnxT7G4WQH1tFgY0HUnSLKyj4fCyJAF1XFrAiaRJipalawL6wXi8T0WXnZavRRWTWHtQB6mREqR00Z0nzH5OS0fe5c8rpnkixiOlxAI0sUNUT-NAtPm4cw/s320/HelpTheseGingerKids.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><strong>DO:</strong></div><div>Discipline your chitlins. We don't need any other public nuisances running around destroying property, peeing on things and making general mischief. </div><br /><div>Just remember: they became little rat bastards because...well...you're an asshole.</div><br /><div><strong>DO NOT:</strong></div><div>Attempt to teach your <span style="color:#ff0000;">Devil Spawn</span> a lesson in a public place. We don't want to have to stop another public lashing of a child (no...<em>seriously</em>). </div><br /><div>We have enough on our record already and don't need to add <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justifiable_homicide">Justifiable Homicide</a> to the list just because you decided to slap your <span style="color:#000000;"><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ginger+kid">Ginger Kid</a></span> around in the unmentionables section of the department store.</div><br /><div align="center"><span style="font-size:78%;"><strong>*Psych!</strong> ...shopping at grocery stores necessitates that we cook. We don't.</span></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div> </div></div>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-21015601010766003212008-07-23T17:35:00.006-05:002008-12-10T16:10:35.311-06:00Top 5 Customer "Service" Gripes<span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">While on-hold waiting for a customer service rep to "help" us, we thought we make use of this time to give you the offical Urban Etiquette...</span></span><br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;color:#cc0000;" >Top Five Customer Service Gripes</span></span><br /></div><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; COLOR: rgb(51,51,255)"><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">1. Know what the hell you're talking about.</span></span><br />Unless you're new, learn your damned products and services before telling us what we can or cannot do / change / accomplish. If we've been a customer for 12 years and you've been a service rep for 12 minutes, we might just know a bit more than you.<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">2. Familiarize yourself with the term "Empathy."</span><br /></span>And, for chrissakes, implement it! Sometimes just hearing out a complaint is half the battle. But if you brush our very real problem aside, you're creating a hostile correspondence.<br /><br />Think of it this way: if it was serious enough for us to call in and spend the time to navigate the plethora of "automated system" roadblocks on your "service" line, then it's serious enough for you to express at least <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">feigned</span> care and understanding.<br /><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;color:#3333ff;" >3. Don't take it out on us.</span><br />That ungrateful asshole you just spend 26 minutes arguing with? Yeah - don't know him. I'm me and this is the reason for <span style="FONT-STYLE: italic">my </span>call.<br /><br />So make with the answers already and save the attitude for those stepchildren that you'll probably be yelling at in the supermarket later tonight <span style="font-size:85%;">(hmm...another good topic)</span>.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226346417489319346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikugKczxDWR_ZAdsxgk1-FhgzfJe1_dych3bMZEz3yBIxkA6dV050bV7ntWz7JTqJMWTB-yG5QQKcXUaCk6_fpk95qmAQxnWJoQvZrRO1s98oXG33JrvcGKiox4amtk2TBw_9xM21G-QDx/s320/wtf+monkey.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">4. Don't make us repeat our account number yet again.</span></strong><br />Is it just us or do we find ourselves constantly keying-in account numbers and other personal information all the way through the automated system process... </p><p>...just to have to do it all over again when we finally get a live person on the line? What the hell's the point? Are all customer service calls routed through 1-800-4-SADISM first?</p><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;">5. Language barriers are unacceptable.</span></strong><br />To all of those decision-makers who outsource your customer service call centers to other countries: <strong>Fuck You</strong>.<br /><br />You are the reason blood pressure rises and pulses quicken every time we realize that we need to waste a day of our lives trying to decipher just what the hell is being said over the phone from the other side of the world.<br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">This is, in no way, meant to be racist.</span> It is simply stupid. And counter-intuitive.<br /><br />Putting someone who does not speak clear, understandable English on the phone to handle a problem too complicated for us to figure out on our own tells us that you don't care enough about your customers to address their needs in a reasonable manner.<br /><br />Not to mention that it's thoroughly un-American! <span style="font-size:78%;">(fist-bumps Steven Colbert)<br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-54737812760217745412008-07-15T10:00:00.003-05:002008-07-15T10:07:06.266-05:00New Section: UnrelatedSticking to the <span style="color:#3333ff;">etiquette</span> theme is the main focus of this site, but we've found that we have plenty more to say that we'd like to share.<br /><br />Therefore, to quickly illustrate <strong>the difference betwixt an etiquette-related posting and a pop-culture posting</strong>, we've decided to add a new prefix to some of the titles of our posts:<br /><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#3333ff;"><strong>Unrelated.</strong></span></div><br />When you see that word at beginning of the title from now on, you can tell that the post will not necessarily be etiquette-related. ...just a little cheat sheet for ya. Enjoy!Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1561345106245031798.post-88560508210605988692008-07-15T08:24:00.001-05:002008-07-15T10:00:02.382-05:00Unrelated. Tuesday Fun: Showtime Photo HuntTelevision show promos have never looked so good!<br /><br />Showtime has been kind enough to advertise both <a href="http://www.sho.com/site/weeds/home.do">Weeds</a> and <a href="http://www.sho.com/site/secretdiary/home.do">Secret Diary of a Call Girl </a>(both worthwhile shows, by the way) with <strong>sexy pinup-girl ads</strong> starring <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000571/">Mary-Louise Parker</a> and <a href="http://www.askmen.com/women/singer_60/66_billie_piper.html">Billie Piper</a> respectively.<br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;"><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">Yowza.</span><br /></strong></span><br />Too boot, they've added <strong>clever Web 2.0 features</strong> such as <a href="http://weedswiki.sho.com/?t=anon">a full Wiki</a> for each show in which fans can add photos, cast info, insider tidbits and more. It's a simple, but forward-thinking move for the <a href="http://www.sho.com/">Showtime</a> execs.<br /><br />We applaud not only their creative direction (did we say <em>Yowza</em>?), but also the fun times they've added - such as this <a href="http://www.sho.com/site/game/photohunt/home.do?source=m_sho_home_phunt">Photo Hunt Game</a> themed after the two shows...enjoy!<br /><center><br /><embed name="phunter" pluginspage="http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" src="http://www.sho.com/site/game/photohunt/flash/photohunt_badge.swf" width="310" height="206" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="peepee=9667a&lulu=1100&rayray=12" scale="noscale" salign="l" play="true" loop="false" wmode="transparent" quality="high" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed><br /></center>Chuckerpatedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01075284629099022340noreply@blogger.com0